


A Suits Christmas Carol

by KatrinaKaiba



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 08:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/607959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrinaKaiba/pseuds/KatrinaKaiba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey Specter is a modern day Scrooge; literally. Follow Harvey as three spirits try to change his mindset about Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Suits Christmas Carol

**Author's Note:**

> A Christmas Carol is near and dear to my heart. So I decided to write a Suits crossover to it. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I do not own Suits or A Christmas Carol Plot.

Hardman was gone to begin with; there was no doubt whatsoever about that. Harvey and Jessica ensured it, with their final gamble, to which they owed Mike a great deal for. He cleared the bastard's grandiose office out, down to the last bit and bauble. Down to the last container of files, safely put back into the file room. Down to the last half-full ashtray of nine o’clock cigarettes. Yes, to repeat emphatically, Hardman was gone. Harvey didn’t care if Louis was now his equal (in name only; because Harvey would always be superior to Louis in every way that actually mattered) he didn’t care that he broke his own rules (by smoking weed with Mike; he promised himself that he’d never go down that lane again, for his own sake) he didn’t care that he had to hurt a few people to get the results he wanted (Jessica, Mike, Zoe, Donna). Hardman, was, gone. Now, Harvey had worse problems to deal with.

“Harvey?” Mike stuck his head in the door hesitantly. Harvey looked up to give his associate a passing once-over. He was dressed better than usual, his hefty bonus evident. Clean, crisply tailored black suit fell against his body in sharp lines. He looked good, really good; the only thing Harvey had objections to was the bright green skinny tie complete with dark Christmas trees and red ornaments. Harvey’s eyelid twitched in irritation at the sight, and he scoffed.

“What the hell is with the hideous tie?” Harvey asked bluntly, flipping a page idly in front of him. Mike glanced down at his tie and then back at Harvey, confused.

“I’m getting in the Christmas Spirit.” Mike said offended by Harvey’s brusqueness.

“Yeah well don’t.” Harvey said absently, as if talking about the weather.

“What are you, Scrooge?” Mike asked narrowing his eyes at him.

“Yes, and if you don’t get to work right now Cratchit, I’ll give you an early Christmas present…”

“Instant dismissal!” The two men bellowed out together. Harvey glared at Mike who grinned sheepishly.

“I read.” He replied simply going to the chair on the side of the desk and sitting down in it, beginning to read the newest documents in the quiet office. Harvey sighed and shook his head, eyes moving through the lines of text with a renewed passion if only to stop his brain from thinking about Christmas. There was a light knock on the door and it opened soundlessly, someone coming into the office with noiseless steps. He felt eyes on his neck and he looked up into a pair of bright crystalline blue eyes. He sat back to give a further look at the figure; female, young and spry with long brown hair pulled away from her face into a ponytail at the base of her neck. She was dressed neatly and appropriately for the type of building she was in. He would mistake her for an intern that got lost if there wasn’t a familiar smile stretched on her face. Harvey leaned back in his chair comfortably and regarded the woman with a cool look.

“Natalie, what an unexpected surprise.” He said lightly. The woman shook her head.

“Uncle Harvey, is that any way to greet your niece during the Christmas season?” She asked teasingly, her smile remaining on her face. Harvey rolled his eyes.

“It is how I would greet you any time during the year, it doesn’t matter that it’s this unfortunate season.” Harvey replied smartly. Natalie looked appalled at the word choice.

“Unfortunate? This is the time of the year to be most fortunate.” Natalie stated her bright smile faltering with each word. Harvey sat up and began shuffling papers on his desk, to give himself something to do as he spoke to her.

“Well, I don’t find myself that way. And I don’t see why you should be; this time of year is abundant with people who want what they can’t have.” Harvey retorted dismissively, his eyes glued back onto the papers in front of him. Natalie scoffed and crossed her arms, looking down at him.

“So what reason do you not find yourself fortunate, Uncle, you have everything, and can afford anything else you may want.” She pointed out snootily with a cocked hip, her attitude showing through the pose. This time Harvey scoffed and looked up at her, his eyes cold.

“You’re trying my patience Natalie.” Harvey told her bluntly. Natalie simply rolled her own eyes and replaced her smile.

“Now now Uncle, don’t be cross.” She said, her voice lilting once again in a manner that suggested no harm.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” He asked her, a stiff finger pointing at her. “When I live in a world of materialistic fools that want what they can’t have, wish everyone a Merry Christmas or…” Here there was a chuckle, “A Happy Holiday because God forbid we offend anyone. What is Christmas anyway? Just a time of the year for you to look down at your bank statement and find yourself with empty pockets and watching time pass by you. A time for looking at all the things you didn’t want and wishing you had gotten what you desired. I think we should just hang the whole damn thing and just move into the New Year without this frivolity.” Harvey explained, each word sounding more and more angry and getting more and more loud, making Mike stop reading and look up at the disruption. Natalie was standing there watching the furious rage flow through the man as he spat his sentiments at her. She then smiled again and shook her head.

“Uncle...” She began but was given a dismissive hand wave to interrupt her.

“Natalie, do me a favor; keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.” Harvey implored her firmly. She laughed incredulously.

“But…you don’t keep it.” She pointed out stepping forward. Harvey glared up at her.

“Then leave me out of it then. Much good it has done you; how are those little brats you teach? They filled with the Christmas spirit?” Harvey asked her sarcastically. Natalie let the barb roll off her back as she put her hands on her hips.

“There are many things that I haven’t gotten over the years, I’m sure. But it doesn’t matter because I believe Christmas is a good time. A kind, forgiving, pleasant, charitable time. The only time of year where we all seem to open our hearts freely and think of other’s poorer than ourselves. That they are like us; not some other race of people that are being punished, but people who have fallen on their luck. So, yes, I may not have more money at Christmas than any other time of the year but I believe that I am better because of it and that it allows others to be better because of it and I say, God bless it!” She finished with a graceful arc of her hand jutting into the air in triumph. Mike was so moved by it that he began clapping.

A glare from Harvey stopped his merriment, “Let me hear one more sound from you and I’ll really fire you.” He warned callously and Mike’s eyes darted back to the paper in silent apology. Harvey then turned his cool gaze back to his niece in front of him.

“I say, you really should’ve become a lawyer Natalie, the way you talk.” He said mockingly flipping his pen through his fingers. Natalie rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

“Uncle Harvey, come to dinner tomorrow.” She offered and Harvey scoffed; this was her real reason for coming.

“Really? And do what? Sing songs, play games and drink cheap liquor? I’d rather walk around wearing one of Mike’s suits thank you very much.” Harvey bit out tersely.

“But why?” Natalie asked, finally showing her hurt at his coldness.

“Why what?”

“Why…this,” Natalie said flicking her hand between them. “All year you and I can act like good friends but come Christmas, it’s like we’re back in that bad place we were in when we first met.” She explained sadly.

“Good afternoon Natalie,” Harvey said, returning to his work. Natalie sighed and leaned forward, not leaving without a fight.

“I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you, why won’t you give me just one day with you?” She asked desperate for an answer.

“Good afternoon.” He said tersely, gripping his pen in agitation. Natalie let out a huffed breath, irritated.

“I am sorry that this time of year upsets you Uncle. I tried, and that’s all I can do. I won’t let you ruin my Christmas, so then…Merry Christmas Uncle Harvey!” She crowed happily, her cheerful mask back on.

“Good afternoon!” He snapped.

“And a Happy New Year!” She added as her final jab.

“Donna! Can you let Natalie out?” He asked his secretary, not noticing the red-headed woman wasn’t there.

“No need. I’ll let myself out. Merry Christmas Mike.” She said to the associate who was looking up from his papers. He smiled at her.

“Merry Christmas Natalie.” He said gleefully watching her leave through the door.

“Ridiculous.” Harvey muttered looking down at his unfinished documents. The door opened again and Louis, wearing a ridiculous Santa hat of all things, came into the large office. “Oh god, just put me in Bellevue right now.” He moaned under his breath. “Anything is better than this.” He looked over at Louis, “how’d you get past Donna?”

“She’s at lunch. Time for your share Harvey.” Louis said holding out a small book for him to look at.

“No it isn’t.” Harvey pushed the book back at Louis without looking at it.

“Yes it is. It’s time for Jessica’s charity present and it’s your turn.” Louis flipped the book over away from Harvey’s fingers and presented it in front of the seated man again. Harvey rolled his eyes and pushed it back.

“You’re the newest senior partner Louis; you should give the biggest share.” Harvey drawled, the conversation becoming tedious.

“Harvey, you know all the partners put in for a big check to Jessica’s favorite charity.” The smaller man explained abruptly.

“Louis, I give checks to charities throughout the year so I don’t have to do this. I already have a present for Jessica; I don’t need to chip in for anything.” Harvey enlightened Louis crisply.

“Harvey…” Louis started with a scoff and Harvey flicked a hand to the door.

“Louis, I don’t want to deal with you right now, get out of my office, I wish to be left alone,” He said gritting his teeth in agitation. Louis didn't take the hint to leave.

“Harvey, that’s not fair…”

“I don’t care if it’s not fair! I don’t want to give any money to anything. I have bills just like the rest of the world does and if I see fit to tell you ‘no’ for something, then you should have the decency to shut up and go away.” Harvey finished, standing fully and pointing to the door. Louis scoffed and slunk out without another word. Mike was watching the display with a hurt look on his face. “And if you have anything to say, then you can just leave as well.” Mike shook his head at the warning and resumed reading. Harvey sighed and sat down, hoping for no more distractions for the day.

Thankfully someone liked Harvey and no one else bothered him. The sunlight filtered out of the office and soon enough, it was getting closer and closer to quitting time. But Mike made no move to start collecting his things, wanting to save himself from getting yelled at. Time ticked by and Harvey continued to work and Mike was beginning to think Harvey wasn’t going to move. He coughed to get Harvey’s attention and received a glare at the noise. Mike blushed and stumbled over his words for a moment.

“Um…Harvey? I, uh…t-that is I um…” He stuttered.

“I assume you want to go now?” Harvey figured out though the malformed words. Mike nodded.

“I, yeah, if it’s convenient for you.” He said quickly fiddling with his hands. Harvey rolled his eyes.

“It’s not convenient. It’s a nuisance.” Harvey bit out brusquely.

“It _is_ Christmas Eve Harvey.” Mike pointed out and looked at everything but Harvey’s eyes after that, feeling the heated glare come his way.

“I’m glad you’re here Captain Obvious. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Harvey drawled acerbically. “Since you’re off tomorrow due to a federal holiday, I expect you bright and early the next morning.”

“But Harvey I…” Mike tried to say but seeing the prickly glare he faltered with his thought.

“That not enough time to sleep off your hangover?” Harvey cut him off sharply. Mike shook his head, eyes dropping to the floor. “If it’s such a problem for you Mike, you don’t have to come in then. Or any time after that. I could easily find another associate willing to work.” Harvey said, adding salt to the already gaping wound in Mike’s soul. Mike shook his head again quickly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll…I’ll see you then…Merry Christmas Harvey.” Mike muttered lowly walking out the door. Harvey ignored him and the consequent glare from Donna as Mike continued out the door, roaming to the bullpen through the empty hallways to collect his things, leaving Harvey alone.

Mike slunk by Donna's desk not bothering to look at the pity in her eyes. She stood up and leaned over the wall, grabbing at his sleeve.

"He doesn't mean it Mike." She told him morosely. Mike's face twitched into a grimace, lips curling with hurt and disgust.

"Of course he doesn't." Mike spat sarcastically wrenching his sleeve from her grip forcefully. "He never does. Do me a favor Donna; if all you're going to do is stick up for him, then just let me go." Mike told her angrily. Donna leaned back onto her chair from the heated pitch of Mike's voice, having never heard it directed at her before. Mike sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. "I'm sorry Donna...I shouldn't be snapping at you. Please...have a Merry Christmas." He passed her a small card he was holding in his hand. "I'll see you later." He said sadly, walking down the hall to the bullpen. Donna watched as the young man slowly made his way out of sight and sighed turning back to her work on her own computer.

Harvey stayed in the office a little while longer before gathering his things and leaving by himself, taking a private taxi home. He ignored Donna's callous call of "Merry Christmas" from behind his back as she took off herself. As he rode he watched out the window. It was foggy tonight, very foggy. Swirls of mist hit against the window, fogging it up from the combatant heat and cold. It was creepy Harvey decided. He stepped out the of the taxi, paid the fare and made his way through the bright decorated entryway of his building, taking his private elevator up to save himself the idle chatter of his neighbors in the other elevator. He watched through the glass pane as the bright light climbed higher and higher with each floor. He saw his own reflection in the glass, frowning and morose, the shadows on his face dancing with the fluttering lights. He rolled his eyes and looked down for a moment at his shoes of all things before taking in his reflection again. Only this time he didn’t see his cold brown eyes mirrored back at him. No, these eyes were bright and joyful. There were more noticeable crinkles around the corners that were pulled tightly, as if he were smiling. He touched his face and gasped when the reflection did not copy his movements. The face in the glass was staring at him, not moving and it was then that Harvey realized that he was not looking at his reflection in the glass. It was someone more familiar and yet…

“Dad…?” Harvey breathed out. He shut his eyes and rubbed the closed lids before opening them. Once he opened them, the joyful face was gone and his own stared back. Harvey gaped doe-eyed for a few more moments until the ding of the stopping elevator took him out of his stupor. He glanced out of the elevator and then back to the wall. He then scoffed and slowly walked out of the elevator into the large quiet room, devoid of any decoration of any kind. It was clean and elegant, just the way Harvey liked it. He saw a small Tupperware on the stove; Margarita must have left it for him. He looked and saw she had made him a small dinner and he placed it in the microwave to heat up. He turned and quickly went into his room, changing out of his suit and into something more comfortable. He came back to the kitchen to eat and after he had finished, he poured himself a glass of whiskey (the good kind) and sat on the couch.

He was a little rattled at the sight of his father’s face but he tried to shake it away. His father was dead, had been dead for five years now. He rarely thought about his father during Christmas even though it was Gordon’s favorite time of the year. His music could be heard throughout the house and down the street all day long. Harvey had all the records but never played them. Tonight he wanted to be enveloped by the silence with a good stiff drink and go to sleep. No thoughts of his father, brother (who he knew had called if the flashing light of his answering machine was any indication), niece…Mike…no Christmas, just silence.

He sat on the couch in his comfortable sleepwear and stared at his glass and dozed off sometime after that, with no thoughts passing through his head.

He stirred sometime later, swearing he could hear bells in the distance. But that wasn’t possible…he lived high above the city, and his windows and balcony windows were closed. No sound could come through the room. The bells grew louder and louder and Harvey, against his wishes, becoming nervous and frantic, looked for the source of the noise. He sat up straight on the couch and looked around some more but didn’t find anything in the dark. He stood up and moved to his bedroom, slowly stepping on the cold floor with his bare feet, the cool floor causing him to shiver. At least that’s what he told himself was the cause of his quivering; no it definitely wasn’t the fact that the atmosphere was eerie and disturbing. He opened the door of his bedroom and turned on the dimmer lights, trying not to assault his retinas with a bright beam of light. He looked around his room, noting nothing out of the ordinary in the bare space. Harvey didn’t have much in his bedroom, he wasn’t there often enough to fill it with anything and when he was, he, as well as his bedmate for the night, were often distracted by other, more pleasurable, things.

He shuffled in, contented by the outcome of his investigation; there was nothing out of the ordinary. His bed was perfectly made, the meager amount of belongings were not out of place. His closet was closed and the windows shut. Nothing wrong here. He searched in these places anyway, for a sign of anyone, or anything that may be hiding in a crevice or empty space. No, nothing. He sighed a breath of relief and sat upon his bed, his head turned down to the floor, eyes tracing the grooved patterns delectably outlined in the floor. Then, all of a sudden, there was a draft despite the closed windows and he shuddered, a feeling of dread filling his heart and expelling through his body. He felt something in the room, there was no doubt about it and Harvey slowly, as if possessed, lifted his head up and found himself looking into a pair of brightened brown eyes. He jerked back, splaying his body against the soft bed and stiffened, legs hanging in the air as he took in the figure that stood before him.

It was a figure of an older man, probably in his mid-sixties, early seventies. He was much shorter than Harvey and plumper than him as well. He was wearing clothes that Harvey found endearing on this man; a white dress shirt, untucked and with the top button undone with a black vest tightly fastened around his waist. His pants were black and not tailored, tapering down to unscuffed, polished black shoes. Harvey’s eyes traveled up to his face and he found himself gaping at the familiarity of the features. He had silvery-streaked brown hair falling into a pair twinkling brown eyes and his countenance was enwrapped with a ghostly light casting shadows against his gently wrinkled face. His lips were drawn in a smile that Harvey had almost forgotten about. His hands were trembling as he moved to touch the apparition, fingers hesitantly touching at what seemed to be thin air. His hands couldn’t touch the figure though and they fell through the form, sending wispy mist through the air.

“Dad…is that you?” Harvey whispered, so low. It was almost if he thought the phantom would disappear if he spoke any louder. His father, or what looked like him, nodded. Harvey closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them once again he found that the apparition didn’t disappear.

“Do you not believe it’s me?” A warm baritone, much like his own, spoke to him. Harvey shook his head. “Why do you doubt your senses? You always had a good gut instinct, Harvey.”

“You could simply be the scotch I drank getting to my head. Or you could be Alex playing a joke on me.” Harvey disputed stubbornly.

“You’re brother’s not coming this year.” The ghost replied. Harvey sniffed in discontent.

“Little difference.” Harvey argued. “I could simply walk out that door and you would disappear. You’re a figment of my mind; there’s nothing you can do to prove that this is real.”

“Oh really, Spinner?” An elegant eyebrow arced in a challenging manner. Suddenly the doors to the balcony snapped open, sending a gust of wind in the room that ruffled his hair while the ghost’s remained perfectly kept. Harvey fell to the floor in shock and covered his face with his hands, trembling something fierce. The wind died down and the doors closed prompting Harvey to look up at the vision in a new light.

“Man of worldly mind, do you believe in me now?” The voice, his father’s playful voice, asked him gently. Harvey shakily nodded and kneeled on the floor, straightening his back.

“I suppose I do. But…dad…why visit me now? What is your reason for coming here?” Harvey asked, his voice child-like in sound, a stark contrast of his usual intonation. He fully accepted the elder Specter’s (pun intended) identity and reacted accordingly.

“To warn you Harvey. If you don’t change your attitude during this time of year, you stand to lose what little you have that means something to you.” Gordon warned his voice stern but still warm. Harvey shook his head.

“I don’t understand; what have I got to lose?” He asked confused. Gordon shook his head sadly.

“I cannot tell you that Harvey; that would be too easy. You must discover it for yourself. I am merely here to serve as a way for you to accept what will happen tonight.” Gordon explained lightly. Harvey’s eyes narrowed at the riddles.

“What’s going to happen?” Harvey inquired desperately.

“You will be visited by three spirits.”

“I think I’ve had enough spirits for one night.” Harvey muttered. Gordon chuckled at the double entendre.

“The first will come tomorrow at one o’clock.”

“Can’t I just get them all at once and be done with it?” Harvey asked hopefully. Gordon gave him a look that Harvey interpreted as ‘shut up and let me finish’. It was the same look that he was given many a time in his childhood and he immediately looked down in shame.

“Expect the next one the next night at the same hour and the third the night after that at the same hour. Now I have to go Harvey.”

“You do?” Harvey asked him mournfully, him not wanting him to go. Gordon smiled sadly at him.

“You will always remember me Spinner. And I will always love you.” He said as he began to walk out, fading into the distance. Harvey remained on his knees and stared off for the longest time, until his knees started cramping. He stumbled to his bed and fell against the mattress drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

Harvey stirred awake again sometime later, blearily blinking into the darkened room. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes, pushing his falling hair from his eyes only to have it fall into them again. He sighed and looked at the alarm clock with half-lidded eyes only to have them snap open upon realization of the time.

“One o’clock? But it was already two when I fell asleep. Did I really sleep for twenty-three hours?” He muttered shaking his head looking around for his watch. He saw it on the bedside table and grabbed it, and looked for verification of the odd sight on his alarm clock. “Says one as well…” He murmured placing the watch back in its place. He sighed and leaned back against his pillows, wearily and anxiously waiting for the ‘visitor’ that his father had told him would come at this time. He wondered how he would know; what sign would he be given that his guest had even come into condo?

He looked to the left and saw a faint glowing light coming from behind the frosted glass. It intrigued him and he stood, gliding across the floor to go into the hall. He followed the wandering light with his eyes as he walked into the living room. There in front of his eyes was a woman, barefoot and wearing a long white flowing gown. She wore a lit holly wreath around her head and her long red curls draped down her back. Her skin glittered from the dim light in the room. It was like she was an angel. Then she turned to face him when she realized he was in the room and his breath stopped short.

“Donna?” He asked, whispering the name of his assistant. She cocked an eyebrow at him and shook her head, lights flickering on her head.

“No.” She began, stretching her arms out dramatically with an elegant, grandiose gesture, a wide smile gracing her cheeks. “I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.” She said with a smile and oddly enough a British accent. Harvey blinked at her in bewilderment.

“You can call yourself whatever you want, you still look like Donna.” He pointed out.

Her face hardened. “I am the Ghost of Christmas…” she paused and sighed. “That’s enough of the accent.” Her voice sounded normal again. “I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.” She repeated cocking a hand on her hip.

“Long past?” Harvey found himself asking.

She giggled. “No, your past.” She said pointing at him.

Harvey sighed. “I still don’t understand why you have to be here.”

“Your reclamation.” She said confidently.

He cocked an eyebrow. “I’m not sick.” He retorted bluntly.

She practically groaned, “Your welfare then, take heed.” She put a hand out, silently prompting him to grab her hand. He looked at her curved hand and back to her face, her bronze colored eyes swirling with merriment and mystery. Harvey chuckled.

“My welfare? I take that kindly _Spirit_ , I really do. But what will help my welfare more is a good night’s sleep. A long sleep, a tumbler full of warm, good scotch and some music to take my mind off of this Christmas business.” Harvey explained. The Spirit rolled her eyes.

“We shall only find it after a long voyage of discovery.” She explained slowly reaching her hand out elegantly as if she were painting a picture across the sky.

“How long?” Harvey asked blinking over at her.

“As long as your life Harvey…which is pretty long so we better get going,” She said bluntly walking to the balcony. He followed her.

“Uh, how exactly are we to travel?”

“Through the air.” She said gleefully as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. Harvey’s eyes snapped between the door to his veranda and her dancing eyes.

“Are you crazy?” He exclaimed shuffling away from her. “We are fifty stories in the air. We’ll be dead before we hit the ground. And I have a fear of…heights…” He told her frantically, recalling some little fact of the day thing that Mike had a habit of spewing when he was nervous or stressed.

“You live on the top floor.” She pointed out candidly, a hand propped on her hip.

Harvey sniffed. “I don’t look down.” He explained. She tittered at his misery and Harvey pouted.

“You won’t fall, if you touch my hand.” She reassured him sticking her hand out again.

“Touch your _hand_?” He flinched back staring at the appendage suspiciously.

“I can tell you where they’ve been, unlike other spirits.” She told him pushing her hand further between them to sit in front of him. He stared at it, then at her, and finally back to her hand. He slowly lifted his own and grasped hers tightly, eyes glued to her face as she took them through the glass door. He closed his eyes as she lifted them effortlessly over the railing and they lifted into the air. He felt the wind brush past his limp hair as they hurtled forward through the air. His eyes remained closed as Do-The Ghost of Christmas Past, gliding through the air as if she were a skater on ice. He dangled behind her just hoping that it would be over soon. His hopes were answered because he soon felt his feet hit the sweet, solid ground. It took every bone in his legs to remain standing and not slump to the ground to kiss it gratefully. He opened his eyes and looked around noting that they were not in Manhattan anymore. There were too many trees around and the ground was unpaved. It was dark out so he couldn’t see much but there was a porch light on in the distance. The Spirit walked out blindly but seemed to know where she was going. He followed behind closely; she was his only source of light due to her fiery hair. As the pair got closer to the house Harvey stopped and stared, the breath catching in his throat. The Spirit looked back at him, noticing that he stopped.

“Something the matter?” She asked, her voice clearly indicating that she knew why he had stopped but wanted to humor herself. He nodded his head but then took a breath to start speaking, realizing she couldn’t see him.

“I…this is where I grew up.” He said simply, taking in the area. It was all as he remembered. The small house in Nassau County, surrounded by trees and not much else. It was the type of place where the kids had a bus that picked them up to go to a school three or four miles away. The type of place where the nearest source of fun was a thirty minute drive into town. The city, as he found out when he was a little older, was a train ride away. It was quiet and it bored Harvey when he was younger. He remembered standing over by the tire swing that his father put up when he was seven. He stood there when he was seventeen still reeling from finding out about his mother’s adultery and wanted to get out of Long Island as fast as possible. He could feel the pull of the city emanating through his bones. The minute he turned eighteen, he walked away and never looked back. Now he was back and it brought feelings of nostalgia and…a hint of regret? The Spirit floated over to him and stood next him her white dress rippling around her ankles.

“You remember this road?”

“Remember it. I could walk it blindfolded.” Harvey boasted. The Spirit, who Harvey was still convinced was Donna (based on the kind of look he was given), chuckled.

“Strange that you have forgotten it for so long.” She said off-handedly pulling on a strand of her glowing red hair. Harvey cocked his head confused but said nothing more, content to look around his childhood home. There was movement from inside the house and Harvey stepped forward to look into the window. There was a young brunette woman, not exactly thin but not overtly plump either. She was bent over something; Harvey couldn’t tell what it was. The house was decorated for Christmas, a tall evergreen tastefully decorated in the corner with expensive looking glass ornaments and sparkling lights. The rest of the house had little decorations that blended in with the style of the interior design. Yep, this was his house. The woman, his mother Elena, moved to the window to look out and seemed to stare right into Harvey’s eyes. Harvey snapped back, thinking he had been spotted and was breathing heavily when the Spirit’s tinkling laughter entered his ears. He looked over at her.

“What?” He snapped, irritated at her reaction.

“These are the shadows of the things that have been. They have no consciousness of us.” She explained.

“Oh…so they can’t hear or see us?” He asked looking for clarification.

“Nope. There is nothing that can be changed.” She said and he thought that he was warning him against thinking he could fix what happened in the past. He nodded in understanding and looked back into the window. The Spirit took his arm and pulled him _right through the wall_. He was now standing in the large clean living room that always smelled of citrus, his mother’s favorite scent. His mother glided past him to the object she was stooped over before and now Harvey could see it was a bassinet. She pulled out a bundle that squirmed in her arms and she bounced trying to placate it.

“Alex. Oh wassa matter my boy?” She cooed at the little baby. Harvey glanced at the whining baby, he was eight or nine months old tops meaning Harvey’s younger counterpart was four years old during this fragment of his memory. He figured it was a fragment of his memory because he couldn’t change it. The Spirit moved her glowing hands over the baby’s eyes playfully even though he couldn’t see her. However, it seemed that Alex’s demeanor changed slightly from it. He stopped crying loudly and simply whimpered upon Elena’s shoulder. She stopped bouncing him and turned to look into his eyes. “There you go…you’re all better now. Where’s your brother?” She said to him, her voice high-pitched and excited. He smiled at her in reply shoving a fist in his drooling mouth and nibbling on it. “Where’s Harvey? Harvey!” She called up the stairs, prompting the little boy to come downstairs. Harvey moved next to his mother, apprehensive to see himself come running down the stairs. Sure enough, responding to his mother’s calling, little feet pounded on the flooring quickly, indicating that the young child upstairs was running across the floor. A door opened and shut noisily and the footsteps grew louder and louder as a little dark blonde head bounded down the stairs. His bright brown eyes were a lit with excitement and Harvey wondered about the child-like innocence that he had. This child doesn’t know that the woman in front of him was a lying, cheating, snake of a woman; he didn’t know that in just thirty years’ time his father would have a heart attack and he would never get to say goodbye to him, that the last thing he did was tell his secretary that he'd call later. He didn’t know that he would grow up to be the best lawyer in all of New York City. He didn’t know any of that, and Harvey understood now why ignorance was considered bliss. Young Harvey stopped in front of his mother, the gurgling baby also staring down expectantly at the vibrating child.

“Is daddy home mommy?” He asked, his voice so high-pitched compared to his counterpart, who had now moved to watch the scene in a different perspective. Elena shook her head at her oldest son.

“Not yet Harvey, but Alex woke up and wants to play with you.” She said kindly placing the infant on the carpet. Harvey looked down at the baby with scorn and then back up at his mother with distain.

“I don’t want to play with him.” Young Harvey complained. “He broke my G.I. Joe.”

“He didn’t mean it, he’s a baby Harvey.” His mother explained patiently through gritted teeth and the elder Harvey noted that he could realize her irritation with the same explanation Harvey would hear for years; the ‘he’s younger than you, he doesn’t understand,’ cop-out his mother would base all her arguments on when Alex ruined something of Harvey’s, intruded on Harvey’s private time (while he was doing homework, and thank god it wasn’t during other times) followed Harvey around or just plain bothered Harvey. His mother always took Alex’s side; it was why Alex was still able to talk to her and Harvey didn’t.

“Why don’t you play with Stretch Armstrong? He can’t break that.” She told him lightly bending slightly at the waist.

“But mom…” Toddler Harvey whined. Elena gritted her teeth.

“Harvey, I need to finish dinner, go play with your brother.” She ordered sternly, all pleasantries discarded. The young Harvey pouted but obeyed moving into the living room and sitting on the floor with his brother, squishing his rounded cheeks in his hands petulantly. Elena sighed and turned into the kitchen to tend to the stove.

Alex had begun to climb onto his older brother’s lap and play with the falling bangs in his brother’s eyes. Little Harvey swatted his hands at the chubby fingers playing with his hair but Alex didn’t relent. He continued to move with young Harvey pulling on him and trying to drool on him. Harvey whined and moved on the carpet, trying to get away from the baby but the littler one kept following him pulling and pushing against him. Harvey pushed lightly at Alex to dislodge him but it didn’t work and his brother got a hold of the thin blonde bangs and tugged. Harvey yelped and quickly bit Alex’s fleshy arm causing the infant to cry loudly. The elder Harvey heard the metallic clang of a spoon hitting a pot and saw his mother fly by to the scene looking at Alex to determine the source of the problem. Little Harvey had gone to stand off to the side guiltily as his mother quickly spotted the deep reddening bite mark and looked over at her older son.

“Did you do this to him?” She asked him incredulously. The young toddler didn’t make a move to say anything. She put Alex in his holder and walked over to him, anger flashing in her eyes. “Harvey Reginald Specter, did you bite your brother?” She asked him firmly. Young Harvey’s eyes filled with tears and he looked at the floor. “Look at me!” She growled out and the watery brown eyes flickered up.

“He was pulling my hair, hard!” He whimpered in defense tugging on his bangs like Alex had to show her. Elena’s eyes narrowed and her hand quickly batted at the toddler’s rear. Little Harvey jerked with the hit and started to wail. Elena pointed to the stairs.

“Go to your room and just wait until your father comes home.” She warned him with narrowed eyes.

“But mommy!” The toddler whined stamping his feet into the floor.

“Now Harvey!” She yelled at him and the toddler scampered up the stairs and quickly shut his door. Elder Harvey didn’t have to be upstairs to hear the heart-shattering cries of his counterpart but what surprised him more, now that he had the chance to see it, was the lack of empathy his mother had upon hearing the cries. She simply cleaned up his brother’s non-penetrative wound, dried his tears and continued to make dinner as if the loud crying wasn’t happening. He shook his head disgusted and the Spirit came to stand at his elbow.

“You look…not-surprised.” She decided upon. He looked at her and noticed she wasn’t staring at his mother with distain, winning a point for herself on the argument that she wasn’t Donna; Donna hated Elena.

“I’m not. She always loved Alex more than me. Always took his side over mine, even when it was his fault and he even said as much.” Harvey explained bitterly. The Spirit nodded and waved her hand over the scene.

“But your father?” She prompted with an elegant eye blink. Harvey smiled at the mention.

“Was always fair. Even then. I remember he came home and told me _why_ I shouldn’t bite Alex. He always explained; my mother assumed that I should know.” He told her. “She was always the one punishing me for nothing at all. We never got along…especially after…” He trailed off not wanting to dredge up those memories. The Spirit pulled on his hand, her voice soft, a contrast against the harsh cries of his younger self still echoing through the house.

“Let us see another Christmas.” She told him turning away from the mother and son and the cries dying away. The scene shifted blurrily in front of his eyes before settling again. They were back in his childhood home but the furniture had changed. Harvey scoffed; his mother always moved furniture. It got annoying when he was older and went downstairs for a snack late at night and tripped over something because she had changed the placement before she went to bed, which was always after he went to bed. The room was set up for Christmas again but this time it was light outside, morning. The sun drifted through the glass windows and casted a warm glow around the room. That was one of the big reasons they lived there in that house. His mother loved the sunlight in the room and based the color of the walls down to the printing of the grain in the wooden floors on that note. His mother was a shrewd decorator and it was one of the reasons she was so successful in her career. He looked over to the kitchen where the next memory was beginning and sure enough, it was one that he’d rather not remember happened at all.

There, on one of the counter stools, was a teenaged Harvey, completely embracing the eighties with moderately long, straight blonde hair and a Champion grey sweater over his lithe body. His right ear was pierced with a simple silver stud, a sign of rebellion against his mother. Harvey looked at his teenage style with a look of distain; is that really how he looked?

“Yes you did look like that.” The Spirit whispered over to him. He snapped over to look at her in shock.

“Are you reading my mind?”

“No. You had a look on your face, like you were questioning how you look. That’s what you looked like in the eighties.” She explained with a smile. Harvey nodded but didn’t stop his eyes from darting between the Spirit and his counterpart. The teenager was drinking a cup of coffee while his mother, dressed in a plaid bathrobe, poured herself a cup. She finished putting in her fixings and moved to sit next to the surly teenager. She tried to put a hand on his tensed fist but he flinched and moved away from her. Elena sighed and took a sip before turning to him fully.

“Harvey…can we talk?” She asked him softly. The teen scoffed and took a sip from his mug.

“ _You_ can. I have nothing to say to you.” Harvey said, his voice still not the deep baritone that it would grow to be. Elena sighed again.

“Harvey…you caught me in a…difficult position. But…” She started slowly, thinking over the least painful way to say what she was thinking.

“But what mom? ‘It’s not what you think?’” He mocked her, finally looking at her fully, the hurt and betrayal evident on his face and his eyes. “It’s exactly what I think. I’m not stupid mom; I know what you were doing. You were sleeping with that man, that man who is not dad. You’re cheating on dad.” He accused angrily. Elena looked down at the clean, tiled counter sadly.

“Yes Harvey I am…but…” She tried to explain but teen Harvey barked a laugh.

“But nothing! I mean, you send me to school to learn about religion and morality and here you are spiting that back in my face. ‘Okay Harvey, now you listen to your teachers while I go and commit adultery. Have a nice day sweetie!’” He mimicked her higher voice, practically screaming the words. She covered his mouth with her hand tightly, panicking.

“Shut up!” She hissed at him leaning forward. “I don’t want your father or brother hearing this.” She told him quietly. Teen Harvey licked her palm so she removed her hand and he looked at her dubiously.

“You’re not going to tell dad?” He asked her. Elena looked at her son as if he had grown a second head.

“Why would I do that?” She whispered. Harvey’s eyes widened.

“Because he has a right to know that you’re unfaithful!” Harvey hissed, also not wanting the sleeping Specters to know their conversation.

“I’m not going to tell your father Harvey. That would hurt him.” She explained with a hand on her hip.

Teen Harvey rolled his eyes. “Oh so risking your health and his is the better option.”

“I use protection. And besides, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” She shot back. Harvey laughed bitterly.

“Oh yeah? But there’s a flaw in your plan. _I_ know and if you think I’m just going to sit here and let you…” He started heatedly before she clicked her tongue.

“You _are_ going to.” She said sipping her coffee.

“Do what?” He challenged angrily. Elena cocked an eyebrow as she set down her mug.

“Not tell your father.” She told him.

“Why not?”

“Because you won’t hurt him like that. You know deep down Harvey that your father will be crushed by this news. You would never hurt him,” She explained. Teen Harvey looked down at the mug sadly, knowing she was right. The elder Harvey, still watching the scene closed his eyes feeling just as defeated as he did that day.

“Fine,” the younger counterpart bit out distastefully, hating that his mother had tied his hands metaphorically. “I’m not going to say anything. But just know this.” He said standing leaving his mug on the counter, making no move to take it to the sink. “There’s going to be a day when I’ll become fed up with this silence of mine and that’s the day you better tell him, or I will. And I will love every minute of it." The teen hissed, giving his ultimatum, the first in a long series that would become commonplace as he got older. "Then, I’m leaving this shit town and I will never see you again. Merry Christmas, mom.” He whispered viciously leaning into her; his eyes were cold and staring at her with hate. He turned and then walked out of the kitchen area, thumped up the stairs and closed the door to his room. Older Harvey watched as his mother took their mugs and placed them in the sink. She then left the room and he and the Spirit were alone together.

“Take me away from here…please.” He told her quietly. She didn’t say anything, just grabbed his hand and the world around them spun into blurriness. They stopped and the world slowed down again. This time he spotted himself in what was in a plush library, sitting in a chair at a long table, books surrounding his counterpart. He recognized this place quickly; he was in Massachusetts during his schooling at Harvard. It was Christmas once again he noted the large room decorated with wreaths and pine-colored garland. It was mostly empty, most students having gone home for the holidays. Harvey had stayed behind, not wanting to be around his brother and father during the holidays. Instead he thought he’d start getting a jump on studying for the bar, fully intending to pass it the first time so he could start his career once he left this god-forsaken place. It wasn’t that the young adult hated Harvard; it was just, come April, there were so many Red Sox fans around him it was insane. It was an insult for a Yankees fan to be around this many Sox fans, let alone having to tolerate them. There was a cough and both Harvey’s looked over.

There, older Harvey knew who she was instantly (his counterpart was clueless), was Dana Scott; Scotty as she would be known as later in his life, but for right now she was just Dana. The petite brunette looked cloyingly at the young man, her familiar smirk in place.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She asked him.

“Uh…no not really. I’m more interested in currency of a larger value.” The younger said, the older impressed that he was able to resonate such a response without thinking much about it at the sight of such a pretty girl (what? He had raging hormones once). Dana laughed and sat down in front of him.

“So…you’re not going home for the holidays?” She asked him. He looked up.

“No. I’m not exactly…comfortable at home.” He admitted. She cocked her head at him.

“Why so?” She asked. He lifted an eyebrow at her unabashed nature.

“That’s really none of your concern,” he bit out, then faltering when he realized, “…who are you anyway?”

“Dana Scott. I was in your Contracts class. I sat directly across from you.” She said smartly. Young Harvey wasn’t impressed apparently as the older noticed.

“Okay…is there any reason you’re bothering me right now Ms. Scott?” He asked her clippingly. She laughed.

“I saw you here alone and wanted to grace you with my presence. You’re welcome.” She said arrogantly.

“I wasn’t thanking you.” Harvey pointed out with a glare.

“You will when I show you your mistake.” She crossed her arms challengingly.

“I don’t make mistakes.” His brown eyes narrowed irritably at her.

“You did now.”

“Where?”

“Riiiight,” her finger flew over the sheet of paper and was delicately placed on a line close to the top. “There.” She finished looking at him. He looked at her finger, read the line, re-read the line and saw what she meant.

“That is a legitimate clause.” He argued.

“It’s vague.” She sniffed leaning back on the chair.

“No it isn’t.”

“I think it is. Didn’t you learn anything in class?” She teased.

“Did you?” He shot back.

“I wouldn’t have written that shoddy contract that’s for sure.” She retorted. Harvey fell silent and the older counterpart thought up some wittier, if questionably ethical, retorts that he could have said. But since this was a fracture of a memory, it wouldn’t be heard. “Nothing left to say?”

“You’re interesting,” Young Harvey gushed impressively. Dana smirked.

“I know. You’re Harvey Specter right?”

“Yes.”

“Rumor has it the big wigs in New York scouted you.” She commented lightly flipping at one of the books off the table in her lap. Young Harvey looked down at the contract again, knowing she meant Jessica and wasn't sure how to respond to that.

 He then smirked and looked up at her. “I can neither confirm nor deny it.” He said cockily, his tone bordering on the confirmation of that statement. She smirked.

“Well, you have to work harder if you want to impress me.”

“Why should I impress you?”

“Because I’m going to be number one in this school.”

“Well, I’m not impressed. And another thing, Scotty,” He said before she cut him off with a laugh.

“Scotty, what am I your Montgomery Scott, captain?” She mocked him.

“You can be the Scotty to my Kirk anytime.” He quipped back seductively and the older Harvey nearly face palmed at the geekiness of that statement. The Spirit beside him laughed, covering her mouth with a sparkling hand. Dana simply laughed before shaking her head.

“You’re interesting. I think I’m going to like you Harvey.” She said with a smile. Young Harvey smiled back, the first real smile he had shown in many a year. The two pre-lawyers continued to talk throughout the whole night, striking up a friendship that would miraculously last for another fifteen years. The Spirit looked at him intently as he listened to the conversation between him and Scotty.

“Very interesting woman, Dana Scott was.” She said lightly turning her head to look at the two twenty-somethings.

“She _is_. She’s not dead.” Harvey corrected angrily. The Spirit laughed bitterly, mocking him.

“She might as well be. When was the last time you spoke to her?”

Harvey fell silent. He had seen or spoken to her since their last meeting, when she told him she was going to be married. The Spirit nodded her head, the fiery flames of her hair shifting. They suddenly began to flicker and the ethereal being sighed wearily.

“My time grows short, come, we have one more thing to see.” She grabbed his hand and turned him around. The world shifted again and the colors changed. Harvey closed his eyes, grateful that this was the last time that this would happen. The scene stopped and Harvey looked around at the scene they had stopped in. His breath caught as he saw a slightly empty restaurant, despite the fact that it was Christmas Eve, and two people sitting at a table way in the back, further away from the other patrons. It was then he realized the memory that he was being shown.

“Please, don’t show me this…” He pled to the white-garbed figure, while turning his head away.

“Do not turn from the past, Harvey” She urged, her voice soft and weak. Harvey shook his head but the Spirit guided him toward the table where he and Scotty were seated. They were a little older, a few years had passed since Harvard graduation but it wasn't quite the present time either. The shadow Harvey was fidgeting with something in his pocket and was too distracted by it to properly listen to the woman in front of him. She was talking about her own job and her own cases. She stopped when she saw Harvey’s eyes flittering away.

“What’s the matter Harvey?” She asked him lightly. Harvey’s head snapped up and looked at her, his expression reminiscent of a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Nothing, I’m listening, interesting Scotty.” He countered quickly. She scoffed.

“You’re not; you’re picturing me naked aren’t you?” She teased. Harvey chuckled nervously before sighing.

“Can I ask you something?” He offered. It was Scotty now who looked nervous, older Harvey thought, looking back on it now.

“Um…sure…but I have to tell you something too.” She muttered and the shadow Harvey wasn’t listening as he babbled on.

“I’ve been waiting to ask you this for a long time. I guess I was just nervous.” He said sheepishly looking away.

“It’s really important.” She continued, she was also looking away, to steel herself.

“So I’m just going to say it.” He offered pulling out the box and opening it.

“I have to just come right out with it.” Her face began to turn back to the man.

“Will you marry me?” Harvey said at the same time Scotty said, “I’m moving to England.”

“What?” They chorused together, noting they didn’t hear the other’s statement over their own. Harvey chuckled and allowed her to speak first.

“I’m moving to England. A law firm scouted me there and I’m going to take it.”

“Oh…well…that’s great, I guess.”

“Harvey…what’s that?” She asked pointing to the ring.

“It’s a ring.” Harvey said lamely. “I was asking you to marry me.” He told her quietly. Scotty’s face blanched.

“Harvey…I, don’t know what to say…” She stuttered.

“You don’t have to say anything now. I was just…” Young Harvey told her quickly pulling back the ring, putting it in the box.

“I mean…I didn’t realize this meant that much to you,” Scotty said flippantly, laughing nervously.

“I can wai…huh? Realize what meant that much to me?” He asked cocking an eyebrow as well as turning his head slightly.

“Us. Our fling.”

“Fling?”

“Yes…did you think…oh my.” She trailed off unsure of herself.

“Scotty…”

“I’m going to England Harvey. I’m not going to marry you.” She told him firmly. The younger, more innocent eyes of Harvey are opened wide.

“Why not?”

“Harvey, you’re a great guy but…you’re not marriage material.” She told him bluntly causing him to gape openly at her in shock. “You’re still too damaged from your mother’s dissolution of her marriage. You don’t want to marry me; you just want to move forward in what you think a relationship should move in.” She explained stiffly, Harvey still not saying anything. She sighed. “Harvey, I think we should just remain in this way. No complications, okay?” She stood up and caressed his cheek tenderly before leaning in and kissing it. “I’ll call you once I’m in England.” She told him even though the older Harvey knows that she never did. Scotty turned and walked out of the restaurant leaving the younger Harvey sitting alone. Older Harvey looked between the two quickly before storming over to where his counterpart was still sitting.

“Get up! Go after her!” He ordered forgetting that his words would not be heard. “Don’t let her go you idiot!” He screamed frantically, desperately. He then turned to the Spirit who flowed closer to him. “Why did you show me this?” He asked her tearfully. The woman said nothing and pulled him away grasping his hand.

“One shadow more.” She said slowly, her voice soft and weaker than before.

Harvey shook his head. “No, no more, I won’t see it.” He followed anyway.

They were now in a small church. It was an old looking building, much older than the churches in America. There were people chattering in the front in accented voices and Harvey knew he wasn’t in America anymore. The small church was decorated with beautiful flower arrangements. His eyes drifted to the altar and saw a small gathering of people. A priest, a man in a tuxedo and a woman in a white gown. It was Scotty and she was getting married. On Christmas Eve no less. Harvey watched as the priest went through the motions to marry them asking them their vows and promises.

“I do.” Said her groom.

“Dana, do you take Thomas for your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” The priest asked the woman. Scotty smiled, damn it, smiled at her soon-to-be husband before saying her own proclamation.

“I do.” She said and Harvey felt something in him break. He tore his eyes away from the scene.

“No more! Do you hear me, no more! Take me away from this place!” He yelled at her, his eyes tightly closed from viewing the wedding. The Spirit simply grasped his hand again. The world shifted again and they were quickly moved back into the condo, Harvey collapsing to his knees in the middle of his bedroom. “Spirit. Why do you delight in torturing me?!” He demanded of her. She shook her head.

“These are the shadows of the things that have been.” She explained slowly. Harvey shook his head and pointed to the door.

“Leave me!” He told her. Her glow flickered dimly for a second and she sighed.

“They are what they are, do not blame me.” She told him firmly despite her light dimming. Harvey placed his hands over his eyes as he felt hands caress his cheeks. “They are what they are.” She whispered in his ears. He shook his head with a whimper. The hands left his face and he saw the light dimming despite his eyes being closed. “They are what they are.” She whispered. The room emptied and Harvey was alone but he could still hear the softened voice whispering through the large space. “They are what they are.” With that last sentiment dissipating in the room, Harvey collapsed onto the floor and fell into a deep sleep.

 Harvey awoke to the sounds of footsteps on the floor. He lifted his face from where it was pressed against the cold hard ground and looked around. He didn’t see anyone, but he felt someone there with him. He rolled his eyes, “Another Spirit, no doubt,” was muttered bitterly as he pulled himself up to a seated position and simply waited. And waited, and waited, and… _waited_. He sighed and stood up, hearing a crack in his knees as he moved to somewhere more comfortable. He heard the noise in his apartment, it was one-thirty as indicated by his watch and alarm clock, but there was no Spirit coming in to get him. He sighed exasperated; if there was something he hated more than being up when he should be sleeping its Spirits who couldn’t come to their appointments promptly.

“Hey, Harvey, I’m not coming in to get you.” The voice finally spoke from his living room, “So you might as well come to me.” That voice sounded familiar, Harvey thought as he stood up and walked into the living room. His eyes adjusted to the faint light in the room emitting from his refrigerator. He cocked his head at the open door to his stainless steel cold box, a round green form being the only thing seen from there. Harvey cleared his throat and the figure stood up causing Harvey to nearly choke on his saliva.

“Louis?” Harvey said, recognizing the smug, slippery senior (not really) partner, who was wearing something that was equally as tacky as his suits. A long green robe, velvet or satin (Harvey wasn’t going to touch it and find out, lest he catch utter fail from Louis.) tied with a long golden rope. He was wearing a red shirt underneath it and a large holly wreath on top of his head. He looked ridiculous, more than usual. “Okay what’s the joke Louis?”

“I’m not Louis; I’m the Ghost of Christmas Present.” He corrected snidely, still sounding exactly like Louis prompting Harvey to roll his eyes. “I can see we’re going to have a lot of fun.” The Spirit said sarcastically. Harvey silently agreed.

“Okay, so come show me whatever you want Spirit.” Harvey decided to play along once again. “I assume by your title you’re going to show me the merriment of others?”

“You’re going to ruin the fun of this aren’t you?” The Spirit drawled. Harvey smirked.

“I still don’t understand what I’m supposed to be learning here. But, since you all are going to deprive me of my beauty sleep-” the Spirit beside him coughed in his fist, “then conduct me where you will.” He finished. The Spirit nodded.

“Okay, let’s go.” The Spirit said putting down his glass of water he was drinking and came around the counter with a flourish of his robe. He stood next to Harvey expectantly. “Touch my robe.” He said, his tone indicating the idea was the most obvious thing to do. Harvey cocked an eyebrow.

“No.”

“We can’t go unless you touch my robe. I’m not holding your hand.” The Spirit said arrogantly with a roll of his eyes. Harvey sniffed haughtily.

“I’m not touching your robe. Who knows where that’s been?” Harvey said obstinately folding his arms in front of him. The Spirit rolled his eyes and moved toward the other man who stepped back nervously. The ethereal being’s hand flew out and gripped at Harvey’s wrist pulling the human toward the robe quickly.

“Stubborn little…just…give, me your hand…” The Spirit struggled against Harvey’s flailing, continuing to pull the human closer. Harvey’s fingers brushed the velvet of the green robe lightly and they zoomed off. Harvey grabbed the robe to stop himself from falling and the damn Spirit had a smirk most unpleasant on his face. Harvey groaned as the spinning came to a stop and the two of them stood complacently on a street that Harvey couldn’t recognize. It was slightly dark out, probably just past four in the day, and the streetlights were coming on. They were standing in the middle of a large set of brick red buildings, four that Harvey could see clearly from his vantage point. There were Christmas lights set up outside each building. The Spirit moved in front of him into the lobby of the closest building, floating past the glass door. Harvey followed; surprised that he could just as easily pass through the door as well. An elderly couple was waiting by the elevator and the Spirit simply stood behind them, prompting Harvey to as well. They waited together until an elevator door opened and the four went inside, the older man pressing the ‘three’ button as they waited. The car stopped on the floor and the couple left. The Spirit pressed the ‘eight’ button and the elevator lifted. Harvey shifted beside him.

“Where are you taking me Spirit?” He asked nervously. The Spirit snorted.

“To see something I think you should see.” He said simply as the elevator stopped on the eighth floor and he left the bright car into the pinked hallway. He entered a door just left of the elevator shaft and Harvey swiftly followed. They were in a quaint little apartment, decorated from ceiling to floor for Christmas. The hall was dark but a line of lights lit the white walled area nicely. The Spirit walked down into the living room where Harvey found himself in the middle of an intimate gathering of people. A bright-eyed woman was standing in the middle of the room and Harvey immediately saw that it was his niece. She was dressed rather nicely for a party in her own home, as Harvey knew it was from the pictures of his brother and his family on the wall. She was walking around the small circle giving each person a glass of what Harvey suspected was champagne. He looked to the left of him at the Spirit; if this ethereal being was Louis then he would complain about the region of the world the drink came from. Alas, the Spirit didn’t even chuckle at the gesture, just simply watched as Natalie lifted her glass.

“Let’s make a toast. To my Uncle Harvey.” She said brightly looking at her guests with a beaming smile. The redhead to her right snorted.

“New York’s own Mr. Scrooge? Come on Nat we could toast to something better than that.” Her best friend Caoilainn complained. “He might as well have said Christmas is a humbug.” The redhead pointed out sassily. Natalie continued to smile and shook her head.

“It’s Christmas Kay; thoughts and whishes to those who need it most?” Natalie tried, inflecting the statement as a question. Her friend rolled her eyes. “And besides?” Natalie continued, “Who suffers the most from his ill-tempered manner? Him of course.”

“You’re only saying that because you don’t want to be written out of his will. The man makes a thousand dollars and hour you know.” One of the young men said knowingly to the other adults. Caoilainn barked a laugh and Natalie’s mouth pulled into a frown.

“Christopher!” Natalie chided the man, smacking his arm. “That’s not the reason at all and you know it!” She scolded angrily. Christopher patted her hand in apology. “As I was saying before I was _rudely_ interrupted. We should feel sorry for him. He’s losing some pleasant moments with family and friends. I’m sure he’d find better company through us than with whatever lies at the bottom of a whiskey tumbler at any rate. More warmth with us than his material possessions in his condo. So I give him a chance, and invite him every year, whether he likes it or not. Eventually he’ll get tired of declining me and then maybe he’ll be better for it.” She finished her speech demurely, looking off to the side. The group sat in silence for a moment before Christopher clapped his hands.

“So…music! Nat do you want to play a bit before the game?” He asked the woman happily, trying to shake her morose mood. She smiled and picked up her violin. After shifting it around on her left shoulder she flicked her fingers over the bridge and began to play. It was a soft and sweet melody that took Harvey back a bit in his memories. Of a time long past when the young woman was a young child, first learning how to play the instrument in her hands. She was shy about playing at first, disappointed in her level of proficiency, hearing how the screeches sounded when she pulled the bow across the strings. Gordon, the kind and patient man he was, had often pushed her to play with him, telling her of his own trials when he first started learning the saxophone. He was the motivation behind her practice. They often played together at Christmas with Gordon marveling at how much better she got every year. This song was one of the ones they often played together and the first that Natalie mastered well enough that Gordon pulled back and accompanied her instead of the other way around. Harvey looked at his niece’s face, seeing the smile she had on as her fingers flitted deftly on the bridge of her instrument, as if she were in that place with Harvey, remembering exactly how it sounded with the saxophone and was still hearing it in her mind even though Gordon had been gone for so many years.

“I remember this song. My father used to play this with Natalie…so many years ago.” He told his companion who nodded in understanding.

“Maybe you should remember it more often. Then you might…” The Spirit cut off, not searching for words but simply to put Harvey in suspense.

It worked.

“I might have…what?” He asked tersely. The Spirit looked over at him with hardened eyes.

“Have cultivated the kindness in life for your own happiness. And remembered the real reason for Christmas instead of wallowing in your own self-pity.” He said snottily before looking back at the scene where the group was clapping happily, Natalie finished playing a moment before. She was smiling happily and placed her violin back in its case while Caoilainn pulled out a handkerchief.

“Alright, Chris is the blind man!” She crowed while tying the long fabric around the man’s eyes. The furniture was moved, leaving a large space in the room for them to play around. Christopher was spun around quickly by one of Natalie’s other friends and she darted away while the man started to stumble around the circle, looking for someone to grab. It seemed to be a ploy by the other guests, Harvey thought as he saw Caoilainn pushing Natalie toward Christopher with no regard to her own getaway. Natalie laughed and glared at the redhead, trying to dart away from Christopher’s groping hands. The other players saw this move and tried to push the two together with Natalie trying to stifle her laughs. Harvey smiled at the spectacle in front of him. He probably wouldn’t have joined in under normal circumstances but if he had a few drinks he could be persuaded to be the blind man. Finally Christopher grabbed Natalie around her waist and pulled her to him. He lifted his blindfold and looked at his captive, his eyes softening upon seeing the woman. Natalie was blushing as they separated, Caoilainn smiling a wicked smile, the kind he saw on Donna and realized just how similar the two were. The furniture was moved back, either with no one else wanting to play or the goal of the game having been achieved, Harvey thought it was the latter. The redheaded woman grabbed a stack of post-it notes and handed them out to each person.

“Now write a name on the post-it. We’re playing Celebrity-Heads!” She said excitedly as she wrote a name on her post-it. She placed it on Christopher’s head and smirked. The paper had the name “Lady GaGa” on it. Christopher placed his on the woman to his right; Emily, Harvey thought was her name. It said “John Travolta”. Emily placed hers on her own brother Cj, (consequentially also Caoilainn’s boyfriend for better or worse) the paper reading “Ozzy Osbourne.” Cj put his on Natalie; “Eli Manning” and Natalie put her note on Caoilainn and Harvey couldn’t see it because he happened to want to play and was using the redhead as his own post it so he stood behind her. “Let the game begin and may the odds ever be in your favor.” She said with a lilt in her voice. Cj rolled his eyes, obviously getting the joke. “Nat you’re first.”

“Okay…am I a man?” She asked.

“Yes,” Cj said quickly.

“Hmm, am I in the music industry?” Her next question.

“No.” Emily said. Natalie winced in frustration at the word no and the questioner shifted to Cj.

“Am I a real person?” He asked.

“Yes.” Emily told him.

“Am I a man?”

“Yes.” Caoilainn said. Cj nodded and thought for a moment.

“Am I older than thirty?”

“Oh god yes.” Christopher said with a laugh.

“Am I an actor?”

“Uh…” Natalie looked around to the others for help. Caoilainn shrugged.

“You have character-like personality, so yeah.” She said. Cj nodded again.

“Am I…in movies?”

“No,” Emily answered quickly, excited for her brother’s turn to be over, but Christopher cut her off.

“Yes, he was in a movie.” Christopher said knowingly.

“He was?” Emily shot back. Christopher nodded but couldn’t say anything more without letting the identity out. Cj looked pensive for a moment.

“Do I have an alternate personality?” He asked lightly. The group stared at him for a moment.

“No,” Natalie said oddly.

“What kind of question is that?” Caoilainn said in a tone that said ‘how are you so dumb?’ Cj shrugged.

“It’s a legitimate question,” he defended. Harvey scoffed and shook his head. “It’s your turn Em.” Cj said to the dirty blonde next to him.

“Am I a woman?” She asked.

“No, Chris your turn.” Caoilainn called out.

“Am I… a woman?”

“That’s debatable.” Cj called out before anyone else could answer. Emily sighed harshly and glared at her brother.

“Lady GaGa.” Christopher said quickly causing the rest of the group to groan.

“Seriously, what the hell Cj?” Caoilainn asked her boyfriend.

“I answered the question honestly.” Cj defended with a smile.

“Okay…no ambiguous answers.” Natalie interrupted, adding a new rule to the game. Emily snickered and so did Harvey. This was a fun game he decided. “Caoilainn, it’s your turn.”

“Okay okay…” Caoilainn said thinking about her first question. “Am I a man?”

“Yes.” Natalie answered.

 “Am I a real person?”

“Yes.” Emily answered with a nod.

“Am I…a celebrity in the tabloids?” Caoilainn asked smirking at the cleverness of her question. The others agreed on its cleverness.

“No, not in tabloids but is in the news.” Christopher responded. Caoilainn nodded and the round started again. The game got sillier as the questions went on. Harvey found himself having a good time, laughing with the group of people and instantly forgetting that he was invisible. He argued with the others at certain points and found his arguments aligned with Caoilainn’s at certain times, her saying exactly what he was saying. Cj and Natalie eventually figured out their post-its leaving Caoilainn and Emily (and Harvey) in the game. Emily was getting more and more frustrated when she continued to get no’s for all her questions. Caoilainn was almost there but needed another push. Harvey wasn’t getting it either and the pull of looking at the post-it was there but he stilled himself from looking. Caoilainn paused to ask her question.

“Okay…is he, or am I rather, younger than 40?” She asked.

“Yes.” Natalie answered.

“Okay…so that eliminates many people…so…am I, a huge deal in the profession I’m in?”

“Yes.” Christopher answered.

“I don’t want to lose the game.” Emily complained. Cj slapped her knee to shut her up but succeeded in making her louder. “Ow, what the hell Cj?”

“I’m asking my question!” Caoilainn growled out looking at the young blonde. “Am I…Mark Zuckerberg?”

“No…why him?” Cj asked.

“He’s younger than 40 and is a big deal with brown hair.” Caoilainn argued. Emily smiled.

“Okay…am I older than 50?” She asked.

“Yes.” Christopher responded.

“Am I in movies?”

“Yes…” Natalie sighed out, feeling a little fatigued.

“Am I…a comedy actor?”

“Not really. I mean, you have been in comedy roles before but that isn’t the focus of your career.” Cj told her. Emily pouted and crossed her arms. Caoilainn took a sip from her cup.

“Am I…attractive to look at? Do people find be pleasing to look at?” She asked.

“Yes.” Natalie answered.

“Okay, Natalie, would I find this person attractive to look at?”

“You can’t ask that? How would she know?” Emily asked irritated.

“She knows.” Caoilainn responded simply staring at her best friend.

“No you wouldn’t.” Natalie answered. Caoilainn nodded.

“Okay. Go ahead Emily.”

“Am I Tom Cruise?” She asked triumphantly.

“No.” Christopher told her. Emily threw her arms in the air and groaned.

“Can I be found in New York?” Caoilainn said quickly.

“Yes.” Christopher answered.

“Do I have a temper?”

“Yes.” Natalie responded.

“Am I hard to talk to?”

“Definitely.” Christopher said with a nod. Natalie glared at him.

“Am I a lawyer?”

“Yes.” Natalie said with a sheepish smile, knowing she figured it out.

“Travis Tanner!” Harvey crowed, thinking he won.

“Harvey Specter!” Caoilainn bit out at the exact same time. Natalie laughed and clapped her hands as her best friend took off the post-it and glared at the loopy handwriting before throwing it on the table allowing Harvey to see that his name was truly written on the paper. The others in the group laughed and cheered. Emily glared at the others before throwing her arms in the air.

“So who am I?” She asked ripping the post-it off her forehead and looking at it. “John Travolta! What the hell?” She looked at her brother who chuckled.

“Someone has to be John Travolta in every game. If no one else is John Travolta then you should assume you’re John Travolta.” He explained in a nonchalant manner. Emily rolled her eyes and threw the balled up piece of paper at him. Natalie smiled and stood up, taking her cup and lifting it in the air.

“So, now that everyone is in a better mood maybe I can make that toast now. To my Uncle Harvey. He has given us plenty of merriment that’s for sure. So I say Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the old man, wherever he is. He wouldn’t take it from us but he has it all the same. To Uncle Harvey.”

The rest lifted their glasses “Uncle Harvey!” They crowed together taking a drink. Harvey, slightly touched by the gesture stood up from where he was sitting to give a small speech, still forgetting that they couldn’t hear him.

“Thank you all. I think we should give a toast to my niece for this wonderful evening of fun and holiday spirit and may I say to each of you-” He started being cut off by the Spirit gripping his arm.

“They can’t hear you, you dumb-shit; we’re invisible.” The Spirit reminded him bluntly pulling him away and through the wall. Harvey whined slightly at the sensation of passing through the door.

“Oh why? I was having fun.” Harvey complained. The Spirit rolled his eyes as they descended down the stairs this time. Once they were outside the green-robed being looked at Harvey.

“There are other things to see.” He replied morosely before guiding Harvey’s hand to touch his robe once more. The world spun around, the lights turning into slips and streams of color as the sights blurred and moved in his eyes. Harvey closed his eyes, not used to the nauseating feeling of moving so fast. They eventually stop and Harvey finds himself looking at a completely different scene than the one he just left. The Spirit had stopped them in front of a building that looked familiar to Harvey. It took the man only a moment to realize he took them to Mike’s building in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Harvey turned his head to look at the Spirit questioningly but the Spirit had moved to walk into the door in front of them. Harvey followed behind quickly and silently as the ascended the two flights of stairs, the rickety cracking stairs that Harvey has traveled twice too many times before. They came upon the moss green door, the gold and black _2B_ curling on itself welcomed them. The green-robed Spirit popped through the door and Harvey sighed before following.

 He wasn’t sure what to expect, he realized when he came upon the scene. The younger man did just lose his grandmother; of course he wouldn’t be in the greatest of spirits, but on the other hand Mike wasn’t really upset during the past few weeks at the office though. He was happy; cheerfully doing his work, chatting with his co-workers, even signing Christmas songs under his breath while working. Harvey should’ve known something was wrong, as he saw the stubbed joints on the table before him, he should’ve realized it was all a mask. Harvey sighed as he looked at the table disappointment lining his features.

“Why are you showing me this?” He asked the Spirit dejectedly. The other just shifted on the creaking wood floor.

“Because you need to see it.” The Spirit said back. Harvey watched as Mike, sprawled out on the couch as he had been the night the two of them had gotten high, hand deep in a plastic bag of pretzels. He lifted a few to his mouth and chewed on them. There was light sounds of Christmas music in the air and Harvey took this moment to properly look around the apartment for any signs of the season. A small, fake Christmas tree sat on the table by the window, under the Panda print that his grandmother gave him during a Christmas long past. Other than that, it looked exactly as it did a few months ago. Harvey walked over to the table, seeing a couple of frames on the surface. He looked at them closely, seeing a picture of Edith in one and the other frame was two people that Harvey deduced were Mike’s parents. They both had a hand in making the man sitting on the couch, that much was evident. His associate had inherited his mother’s eye shape and mouth but his father’s cheek bones and chin. They were both blonde haired and blue eyed and looked very young in the picture; perhaps this was taken before Mike was born. Mike sighed and startled Harvey causing him to look at the blue-eyed man, noting that the glassy, unfocused eyes were not the eyes he liked to look in.

“Merry Christmas guys. Looks like it’s just me this year.” Mike said aloud with a giddy laugh, telling Harvey exactly how far gone the blonde was. He sighed. “I was going to go to your graves eventually but…boss-man won’t let me off. I would tell him why but…I know he doesn’t care.” Mike scoffed and pulled the joint to his mouth, taking in a hit and letting the smoke out effortlessly. “He even says as much. I mean. I know what you would say mom; you’d tell me to walk out and go do it anyway. I would mom but…he threatened me. He told me he could find someone else. I’ve never heard him say that before. I always thought that I was enough. Looks like I was wrong…what else is new?” Mike’s eyes filled with tears and he took another hit. “I should have known I’m not good enough for him.” He continued and Harvey could hear the tears in his voice, the shakiness of the usually cheerful voice cut Harvey to the core causing him to turn away from the scene.

“I should have never said that.” He remarked remorsefully and the Spirit scoffed.

“Oh please. You meant it. You mean it all the time. You don’t care about him. He’s just another tool for you to use on your climb to the top.” The Spirit spat angrily. Harvey shook his head.

“I told him not to smoke anymore.” Harvey whispered.

“And you think that’s enough?” The Spirit growled furiously. “By just your order alone, he is supposed to _stop_? I tell you Harvey Specter, if you don’t wise up and stop treating him like garbage…bad things will happen to him.” Harvey turned to the Spirit, with an unreadable fire in his eyes.

“What…no…tell me, tell me what could happen.” Harvey demanded. The Spirit shook his head.

“No… I can’t tell you. But heed my warning. If you don’t change your ways, Michael Ross won’t have a long time left. But what does that matter to you. You’re _Harvey Specter_ , do you truly need anyone?”

Harvey was silent as the Spirit moved out of the apartment building. He didn’t want to follow, he wanted to shake Mike and yell at him. He wanted to wipe those tears away; tears that never should be on Mike’s face. He wanted to tell Mike just how much he needed him and how irreplaceable the blonde truly was. He wanted to tell the other man how much he cared, that it wasn’t just something Mike teased him about from time to time. Harvey wanted to tell Mike just how much like his brother Alex Mike was. He wanted to show Mike that he was not alone in this world. However, the Spirit told him that he couldn’t be heard so Harvey had to force himself to just watch as Mike smoke and drank himself further into depression and found himself helpless to do anything about it.

Harvey couldn’t stand the sight anymore and turned away to leave. He walked to the door and heard Mike whimper out, “Merry Christmas Harvey.” Harvey turned back; could Mike see him? But when he looked Mike’s eyes were closed and a tear was falling down his cheek. Harvey quickly fled from the room, the emotions choking his soul and found the Spirit standing off to the side looking down at the ground. Harvey walked over and stood before the benevolent man.

“Spirit…” Harvey says with a small breath. The Spirit looks much older now; deep wrinkles around his face and his hair (what little there was) was starting to grey. “Are Spirit’s lives so short?” He asked curiously remembering the shortness of his encounter with the Ghost of Christmas Past.

“Very much so. My time ends at midnight.”

“Midnight!” Harvey exclaimed looking around, trying to decipher the time at that present moment. The Spirit nodded and looked down at his robes Harvey’s eyes following. “Spirit, what is that under your robes?” He pointed at the protrusion from underneath the green fabric.

“Look here Harvey Specter.” The Spirit said pulling the robes apart revealing two raggedy, waif-like children. A boy and a girl, Harvey struggled to figure out. Their faces were gaunt, like they hadn’t eaten or drank anything for a while. The skin was rugged and dry, tightly stretched across their skin, hollowing out their cheeks. The usual brightness of their eyes was dulled out and if Harvey couldn’t see their chests taking in rickety breaths, he would’ve sworn that they were dead. He took a breath in to steady himself but found it did nothing of the sort.

“Are these… _your_ children, Spirit?” He asked slowly. The Spirit shook his head.

“They are man’s; the boy Ignorance, the girl Want. Fear them both since but most of all the boy. For he is the key to man’s doom.” The Spirit explained. Harvey started to tremble as the scene shifted around him. The world had turned into a darkened, blurry mist around him and he couldn’t take his eyes off of the Spirit. His face was slowly gaining in pallor and his hair whitened dramatically. The children under his robes grew dark and haunting and Harvey tried to close his eyes but found that he couldn’t, he couldn’t stop staring at the children, those frightening children. Harvey fell to the floor and covered his eyes in order to stop seeing the harrowing sight.

“No more.” He muttered. “No more.” His quiet mantra that he repeated over and over as the world fell away and he was back in his bedroom on the floor. He was panting in exhaustion even though he did nothing to become so. He stood on wobbly legs, moving around the room like a new-born foal. He shakily sat down on his bed and laid down, pulling his knees to his chest in a comforting fetal position and falling into another dreamless sleep, hoping his last visitor would bring him some comfort but knowing that it would not.

Harvey woke some time later, staring at the ceiling. That’s what he awoke to, his eyes glued on the white ceiling. There were no haunting lights, no loud voices, no coy giggles, just him, silence and his ceiling. Harvey shifted his head on the pillow and looked over at the alarm clock. It was nearing one. Time for his next, and last, visitor. Harvey sighed and pulled himself up. He let his feet touch the floor and he stood up warily, his eyes darting around in search of his visitor. But there was no one to be found. Harvey started to the living room where the other visitors had congregated what would have been days before now, he thought. He rounded the corner and poked his head out of the door looking back and forth but still finding nothing. The light hairs on Harvey’s forearms prickled as a cold draft floated through the room. He turned his head to the balcony and saw a black fabric billowing with the wind through the open door. He hesitantly stepped toward the figure, finding that it frightened him. He took in the shadow curiously; it was a tall figure, towering over Harvey, draped in a black fabric that fluttered across the floor. Its face was covered by the fabric, so Harvey couldn’t see if it was a shadow from his past or not. The only exposed part of its body was the hands; long, sinewy hands that tapered off into long spidery fingers, dangerously thin. Harvey shuddered when the head turned to him, or what he thought was the head and boy, was that disconcerting now that he thought about it, the fact that he couldn’t tell when the Spirit was looking at him. Harvey took a breath and pulled himself up straight to convey a sense of confidence and stepped over to Spirit who, sensing his presence, pointed over the city with an ominous bony index finger. Harvey followed the line of the Spirit’s arm to the finger over the city and the back to the covered face.

“Are you the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come?” He asked hesitantly. The Spirit made no move to speak, no move except to continue to point. “You are about to show me things that haven’t happened yet but _will_ happen? Am I wrong?” He continued, still extremely hesitant. This time the Spirit inclined its head, in a nodding gesture but continuing to point. Harvey looked away a feeling of dread gripping his heart. “I fear you more than any other spirit I’ve met tonight. But I know that your purpose is to do me good. I’m ready to go wherever you want to take me. But will you not speak to me?” Harvey asked his eyes traveling back to the figure. It didn’t speak but drifted toward him holding out his arm, silently prompting Harvey to grab onto its arm. Harvey looked from the covered face to the arm quickly, gauging his other option only to find none. Harvey sighed. “Then lead on Spirit.” Harvey’s fingers closed around the thin arm and Harvey felt the now familiar sensation of the world spinning around him blurring around him and the lights streaked against the sky.

The sensation stopped quicker than it did before, oddly enough and Harvey found himself standing in the middle of the bullpen at Pearson Law Firm, the other associates buzzing around doing their work diligently. Harvey looked around curiously, looking for his own associate in the mix but couldn’t find the bright eyed blonde man. The other associates seemed not to notice the absence of the other man as well and continued to chatter amongst each other. He looked over to Mike’s desk and it was empty, but the area was occupied by someone because there were files on the desk and pens in the holder. It contented Harvey and he looked away even though he felt something tugging in his chest, indicating that something wasn’t right. The Spirit glided over toward where there was a group of associates were chatting. They were displaying a different demeanor than the others. This group was comprised of only male associates, consisting of two brunettes and a blonde, were melancholy, talking lowly amongst each other. Harvey recognized them, barely but he did. The brunettes had sucked up to him before and the blonde was the same one that wheezed every time Harvey walked into the room. For the life of him though, he couldn’t remember their names.

“I just…can’t believe it’s been a whole year.” The blonde lamented with a shake of his head, the blonde curls flopping from the motion. The first brunette; grey-eyed with short messy brown hair sighed.

“It has been Harold.” He said giving the blonde’s name while narrowing his eyes. “And boy I wish I didn’t envy him as much as I did when he was here.”

“Oh stuff it Kyle. You got exactly what you wanted.” The other brunette scoffed, closing dark brown eyes while running a hand over his slicked back black hair; just like a lawyer Harvey grimaced mentally. Kyle narrowed his eyes.

“What I wanted was completely different than what I got, Seth. Yeah sure I’m a personal associate to a senior partner but he’s a complete slave driver. I haven’t had a weekend to myself for months. I don’t know how _he_ did it.” Kyle complained.

“Because he was the golden boy.” Seth drawled. Harold glared over at the slick-haired man.

“Shut up Seth. He was a good guy and you know it.” Harold pointed out.

“Oh now Louis’ pony pipes up.” Seth pointed at the blonde angrily. Harold stiffened.

“At least I’m valuable to someone. That was the problem wasn’t it?” Harold realized something after he said it. “It doesn’t matter how bad Louis treats me, at least he knows I have his back and he has mine. That’s what we all thought _he_ had, wasn’t it?” Harold said softly. Kyle and Seth shot each other a look and their eyes fell to the floor in shame. “We didn’t know how bad it was for him. We all thought he was okay with it. We didn’t see the problems before it was too late.” Harold continued firmly, trying to hold back his tears. The three older associates stood together for a moment in silence, remembering whatever they were talking about. Kyle was the first to break the silence with a cough.

“I have to get Mr. Wonderful his files before he bites my head off.” Kyle said with a slight hardness to his voice as he walked to his cubicle, grabbling a stack of files and sauntering off out of the door into the hallway that Harvey knew led to the partner offices, including his own. Harold didn’t say anything else and also grabbed a stack of files and wandering off in the opposite direction to where Louis’ office was. Seth remained for a second blinking thoughtfully before sighing and going to sit…in _Mike’s_ desk? Harvey watched incredulously as the man got to work at the desk that was his associates. Mike sat there…didn’t he? Harvey turned to the Spirit and looked at it curiously.

“Who are they speaking of? And why is Mike’s desk occupied by that idiot? Where’s Mike?” Harvey asked in succession. The Spirit said nothing and the cold feeling of dread creeping upon Harvey in a black wave. “I don’t understand. And do you still not speak to me?” Harvey demanded angrily. The Spirit said nothing. Harvey huffed crossing his arms. “Where am I in this world Spirit?” The Spirit still said nothing and moved down the hall, the opposite of Harvey’s office. Harvey followed behind dutifully and the Spirit lifted its arm again, Harvey taking it immediately. The world blurred around them and Harvey then found himself standing in a cemetery, grey tombstones aligned through the grass, each with a different name, different epitaph but they all were similar. They all showed where the dead were laid to rest. There were flowers, a blanket or a wreath on each grave, indicating that the time of year was closer to Christmas although there was no snow on the ground. The trees were bare and there was scarcely a sound coming from the area. Darkness covered the area despite the lamplights around the paved street. Harvey wandered around, his eyes stopping on each gravestone, viewing the names intently.

“Spirit, why did you bring me to this place? This isn’t where my family is laid to rest.” Harvey wondered glancing back at his companion who was standing off to the side pointing at a stone far off in the distance. Harvey walked toward the blackened figure that was still easily seen despite it being dark out. Harvey stood beside his escort and stopped afraid of what he might be shown. Harvey shakily turned to the Spirit who stood firmly in its spot, pointing straight and true. Harvey shook his head. “Before I go to that stone you’re pointing at, answer me one question; Are these the shadows of the things that _will_ be, or are they shadows of things that _might_ be?” He asked for clarification. The Spirit only continued to point at the stone. Harvey took a breath and shuddered once again. “They say your life is dictated by fate, that you must follow a certain path given to you by a higher being. But if you deviate from that path, then things will change. Can that be true in this instance?” Harvey tried again, wanting to get something from the Spirit to comfort him, to reassure him that what he is seeing could be changed. The Spirit stood staunchly in his pose, finger outstretched towards the stone. Harvey, knowing when he has lost, let his head fall and he walked to the stone the Spirit indicated toward. He knelt at the ground and looked upon the stone, his eyes taking a moment or two to adjust to the barely lit area. He found that he couldn’t see as well as he thought so he shuffled forward towards the stone put his palms flat against the cold rough stone, tracing his fingers along each letter of the name. He stopped mid-trace and peered in closely, hoping that he was wrong, that it wasn’t true what he had felt under his finger.

“No…it…can’t be…” Harvey whispered, his voice laden with a desperate air; wishing it wasn’t true, that the words he was reading were a joke.

_Michael James Ross_

_Born November 16, 1985_

_Died December 23, 2011_

That was it. No words describing him, no epitaph, no simple statements…nothing. He was just a person underground that had died. Harvey shook his head feeling a tear coming up from his eye. “No, Spirit this can’t be right.” He said with a hiss, turning to the Spirit on his knees. “Mike can’t be dead. Why did he die? If anyone should have died…it should have been me?” Harvey whispered looking back at the stone, realization overtaking his features. “Is this what they were talking about? In the bullpen?” He asked himself reading Mike’s name over and over. He mentally equated that Mike had just turned twenty-six when he died. _Twenty-six._ That was so young to Harvey who vaguely remembered himself at that age; just graduated Harvard and was already sweeping through cases at the DA’s office. It was so long ago when he was that age. Mike had his whole life ahead of him and it was cut short. Harvey entertained the idea of finding out how but he knew that if the Spirit wanted him to know, then it would lead him to the answer. Harvey stood up, feeling his knees crack and he wobbled over to the Spirit. “Please lead me from here Spirit. I don’t wish to see this anymore.” He grasped the Spirit’s outstretched arm and found himself being taken away from the graveyard.

They were quickly stopped back in a familiar place. “My office?” Harvey said looking around the room. It was his office indeed. There, perfectly in line, were the basketballs autographed by many of the best. His opaque desk sturdily perched off to the side by the large windows he loved to look out of. His glass table by the clear wall, his records, his vinyl player; all where they were supposed to be. He looked at his desk again and saw Mike’s chair still sitting in its place. It wasn’t really Mike’s chair but the blonde had taken to sitting in it most days when he worked in Harvey’s office and Harvey didn’t want to break Mike’s concentration by telling him to move. That’s what he told other people but the truth was; it was more comforting to work by the other man sometimes. He was so quick with his work and so interesting to watch. When he was concentrating closely on something, he would bite his lip gently, just enough to make a small indent in the lower corner of his mouth. Mike held his highlighter/pen that he was fond of between his index and middle finger instead of laying it on crease between his index and thumb fingers because he could flip it to the pen side of the instrument and use it to write better. Mike claimed it was more efficient but Harvey thought it was just another odd quirk of Mike’s. Mike…

Harvey sighed and looked away from the chair trying to distract himself from thinking about the absent blonde. His wish for a distraction was granted at that moment when he saw himself stride through the door confidently, like nothing was different and take his seat at his desk. Harvey watched as Kyle scampered behind him. _Kyle_ was his associate, now? Harvey thought watching the brunette place the papers on the desk.

“I filed the patent claim, summarized the contract clauses, and proofed the Bensington Merger,” Kyle said cockily but Harvey could see it was fake, the clue being given during the earlier scene where Kyle compared him to a slave driver. Kyle hated working for him, and realized it too late. He watched as his copy read through each file with his usual coolness and it unnerved Harvey. Kyle waited patiently as his boss survey each paper intently. Future Harvey looked up at Kyle with a cocked eyebrow.

“You’re still here?”

“I was waiting for further instructions sir.” Kyle said expectantly. Future Harvey flipped a hand dismissively.

“I’ll send it with…Cameron…” Future Harvey said biting the assistants name out glancing at the young man sitting behind the desk. Harvey followed his own glance to the young bright brunette sitting where Donna used to sit. Donna was missing in this future as well. The Spirit beside him continued to be mute, pointing ahead to prompt Harvey into looking at the scene in front of him. Harvey turned his head back. Kyle had nodded and started to walk out but then looked back reluctantly at his boss. Future Harvey was still reading the papers.

“Sir?” Kyle piped up. The other Harvey didn’t look up. “I was wondering…a few of the guys were going to go to Mike’s grave tonight. I was wondering if I could leave earlier as well.” Kyle asked. Harvey flipped a page and continued to read.

“I wasn’t under the impression that you and Mike were best friends.” The other Harvey commented lightly, as if Mike was still alive. Kyle cocked his head to the ground a little before looking up at his boss.

“I was just…it’s almost Christmas…and he wasn’t such a bad guy…” Kyle gritted out, thinking about each statement before saying it.

“You’re hesitating. It’s a sign of weakness.” Harvey commented coldly causing Kyle to blink in surprise but he said nothing further. He turned and walked out of the room instantly not wanting to incense the other man further. Harvey watched as Kyle walked away and turned to his double.

“Mike wouldn’t have backed down from you.” He told himself and wasn’t that freaky? He was talking to himself from the future. It didn’t make any sense. Why didn’t this Harvey feel anything for Mike’s death? Mike was a good guy, a great associate and a caring individual. He would give you the shirt off of his back if he could. Why was this Harvey so cold, so unfeeling? And then it hit Mike. The way he was sitting, the way he was working. He was distracting himself from thinking about Mike, from thinking about his death. Harvey was throwing himself into his work like he did when his father died to stop the pain. But it didn’t look like he was hurting. It was the exact opposite; he was hurting, he was just hiding it. And he presented himself as the ever perfect professional, making everyone see that he was fine on the outside.

It finally hit him. Why Mike didn’t think that Harvey cared, because he couldn’t _see_ it. This was the face that Mike saw, this cold man in front of him, sitting at that desk. Flippantly dismissing his questions and his concerns with a dismissive hand and a scathing remark. He tried to see past the mask but failed because he was too naïve, too innocent, and too inexperienced at reading people. The kid thought he could read people but thinking you could do it and doing it right were two different things.

“Spirit,” He turned to the black robed figure quickly in a panic. “I feel our time is growing short. I don’t know how but I do. I need this to change.” He said sweeping a hand over the office space. “This isn’t what I want. I have change. I see that now. I’ve learned enough of my lesson. Please, listen.” He pleaded trying to see into the mask. “Why would you show me this if this is what’s going to happen?” He asked lifting a hand to the robe’s opening, where its face would be. “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall live within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that this won’t come to pass.” He pleaded the tears coming to his eyes as he grasped the robe and pulled, trying to reveal the Spirit’s face. The fabric fell away from the figure’s head and Harvey was able to make out a face before the world went dark.

“Mike?”

Darkness.

Limbs flailed against a rustling fabric. Pulling and pushing, tearing and mashing. Then there was light. Harvey pulled his bed sheets off of his head and opened his eyes. The light was streaming in from his windows into the room. It was morning. Harvey sat up and looked around the room, seeing the light patterns dancing the floor. He blinked, not fully accepting that this was real. “This is my room…this is my bed…my room…its morning…” He whispered. “It’s all the same. Nothing’s wrong, I’m alive. A ha!” He laughed leaping out of the bed, jamming his knee. “Ow.” He moaned and then realized he could feel things again and started to laugh again. “The shadows that might have been are washed away.” He laughed again, slightly manically this time. “The Spirits of the past, present and future are within me and…” He dropped to his knees and looked out at the sky line before him. “Dad, I’ll be a better man for this. I promise you. I…I…I don’t know what to do. I haven’t felt this lighthearted in years. I could…I could fly off the side of this building right now!” Harvey crowed laughing happily going to the balcony then he looked over the rail of the veranda and groaned. “Then again maybe not.” He closed the door.

He moved around the floor tentatively. “It all happened. The Spirit that looked like Donna came in through here.” He came to the door to the hall and looked down it. “My dad was in there.” He remembered as he looked down toward the living room. He then scratched at his head while looking around his own room again. “I don’t know what day it is.” He realized. “I don’t know how long I was with the Spirits. But that’s the window we left in…it’s all true.” He cheered as he went down the hall. He peered around each corner, expecting a phantom or a spirit to come popping up in the hall as he walked. He got to the living room and shuffled out inspecting every corner of the room before slamming his back against something, causing him to jump in fright.

“Ahh!” Harvey yelped along with what he slammed into. He turned around quickly and let out a relieved breath when he saw it was only his cleaning lady, Margarita. A hand found its way to his chest to steady his heaving breaths. “Margarita! What are you doing here?” He asked her breathlessly. The woman just cocked her eyebrow and looked at him like he was insane.

“I clean the house Mister Harvey.” She told him slowly, as if he were a child. Harvey nodded his head in acceptance.

“Oh, of course.” He said looking around the room, seeing that it was indeed clean…er than usual. He saw another window and looked out it. “There’s no fog, no swirling mist. Interesting.” He said whispering at the window, startling Margarita as he continued, “it’s clear, bright, cold. A crisp morning if I ever saw one.” He smiled and turned back to the cleaning woman. “Margarita. What day is it?”

“Huh?”

“Day, día, uh you know…” he searched his memory for some Spanish words to help him. “Lunes, martes?” He tried waving his hands around. She nodded in understanding.

“Oh, it’s Christmas Day Mister Harvey.” She told him. Harvey’s eyes widened.

“Christmas Day? Christmas Day!” He repeated twice loudly gripping her hand. Margarita nodded hesitantly, her eyes widened by the odd character of her boss. Harvey laughed again, disbelievingly. “I haven’t missed it.” He said lowly. He then looked at Margarita, his hand still clasped around hers. “They did it all in one night! Well, of course they did, they’re Spirits, they can do whatever they like.” He said scoffing a bit at the inanity of his own statements. Margarita simply put on a small smile, the kind you use to placate a strange person who sat next to you on the train and begins a conversation with you. “Oh, Margarita. I need you to do something for me.”

“Yes Mister Harvey?” She asks politely, a hint of wariness in her voice. Harvey rolls his eyes.

“I’m perfectly fine it’s just…do you know the comic book store on 45th and Lexington Avenue?” Harvey asked and Margarita rolled her eyes this time.

“I should say so Mister Harvey. You stop by almost every week.” She pointed out. Harvey stiffened and shook his head.

“Yes, I know I just…wanted to make sure you knew. Okay…I need you to go there and get me this list of things.” He handed her a sheet of paper with some items written on it. She looked down at the list and then back at Harvey.

“All of this?” She asked him. He nodded.

“Yes. Just hand the list to an associate and I guarantee you they’ll be more than happy to help. And yes, I want them gift wrapped.” He said. She nodded.

“Then what do I do with them?” She asked him.

“Bring them to this address.” He said pointing to a set of numbers and letters on the paper. “You don’t have to give them to him, just leave them on the door step and knock, then run away!” He told her explicitly. He then took his checkbook and quickly scrawled out a check for her. “This is for you. Merry Christmas.” He said kissing her on the cheek. She looked at the check, then back at Harvey and then back to the chest stuttering the entire time, trying to find the words.

“I…Mister Harvey…” She stumbled and Harvey shushed her, shaking his head.

“Say no more Margarita. Just get going, the store closes at noon.” He reminded her pushing her towards the door. She grabbed her coat and scarf, pulling them on her as he guided her to the door.

“What about payment?” She said suddenly turning back around. Harvey thought for a moment then shrugged.

“Just put it on my tab. I’ll swing by tomorrow.” He told her. She smiled knowingly.

“To pick up your Star Trek kit Mister Harvey?” She asked coyly. He blushed a bit.

“That’s not any of your business Margarita. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said curtly before closing the door behind her. He laughed and walked back to his room quickly changing into some upscale casual clothing. “Mike’ll never guess it was me who bought him that stuff. I hope I didn’t go overboard…nah.” Harvey said pulling his sweater over his shirt. He pulled down the collar of his shirt primping the corners precisely. He went to the bathroom to fix up his hair and found himself staring into his own eyes wonderingly. “Just me…not your reflection dad, only mine.” He said lowly before moving his hand to the gel on the counter and pulling the loose strands of his hair deftly against his scalp. Once his hair was perfectly done he toed his shoes on and left the confines of his apartment but not before picking up another check and a bag by the door before locking it. He went downstairs in the other elevator, making a quick stop on one of the floors to go to a door, knocking on it fiercely. He waited a moment before the door opened and he smile brightly at the person who answered it.

“Hello Louis, Merry Christmas.” He greeted happily. The smaller man looked at Harvey oddly. “No need to say anything, I’m in a terrible rush to my niece’s house. I just wanted to say that…I acted badly at work the other day and I just wanted to give my small, modest contribution that I should have given you before.” He handed Louis the check he wrote on the way down in the elevator. Louis took it cautiously, as if it were contaminated and he didn’t look down at it.

“Did you and Mike get high again?” He asked tersely. Harvey laughed and clapped a firm hand on Louis’ shoulder.

“No. I just wanted to give that to you.” Harvey repeated coaxing the man to look down at the slip of paper. Louis’ eyes widened at the number in the corner of the check.

“This is…Harvey…did you do this to suck up?” Louis accused him. Harvey shook his head.

“You don’t even have to tell her that I gave that in.” He said vibrantly shrugging his shoulders. Louis opened his mouth a couple of times, but no words followed the motion.

“Harvey this is…thank you…” Louis said honestly. Harvey put a wide smile on his face.

“Merry Christmas Louis.” Harvey repeated beginning down the hall. Louis whispered the same sentiment back and retreated back into his apartment to do what Jews did on Christmas. Maybe one day Harvey would ask the other senior partner but for now, at this moment in time, he had to make his way to Queens.

The trip didn’t take long for Harvey, not as long as it might have at a different time and he found himself going up to the door he had visited the night before. He took a breath and pushed the small black button, hearing the deep tolling bells of Natalie’s doorbell and waited. He heard the pounding of footsteps and some yelling from behind the door before it opened and a pleasant smell came out from behind it. Natalie wasn’t the one who answered the door, it was Caoilainn.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She asked Harvey harshly. Harvey simply cocked an eyebrow.

“Merry Christmas Caoilainn.” He said to her. She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“You have cancer right? Just trying to make your last days enjoyable?” She commented with a sneer. Natalie must’ve heard their back-and-forth because Harvey could hear her saying something about Christmas cheer from the back of the hall.

“And furthermore Kay…Uncle Harvey.” She said in surprise when she saw the man at her door.

“Merry Christmas Natalie, now as much as I like hearing my voice echoing in your hall, I don’t think your neighbors will. Can I come in?” He asked watching her eyes brighten and her smile light up on her face.

“Of course, you’re always welcome here. Despite what she says.” She added as an afterthought, cocking her head to the redhead who rolled her eyes. Harvey smiled and stepped inside.

He spent the rest of the day with his niece, her boyfriend, her best friend, her best friend’s boyfriend and his sister. They played games, ate food, drank a bit and listened to some music. Natalie admitted to not getting Harvey anything for Christmas but he smiled and gave her the bag he brought with him. He had gotten her a beautiful ornament for her tree that she had been eyeing for sometime now. She was happy and fawned over it, putting it on the tree and glancing back every so often to see if it was still there causing Caoilainn to smack her on the arm to prompt her into making a move on the Monopoly board.

Harvey stayed for a while longer after that, then left because he had to go into work the next morning, to see Mike. Harvey fell asleep quickly after hitting the pillow and finally dreamed for what seemed to be the first time in days.

Harvey came into the office early the next morning, hoping that Mike would be late. His hopes were answered as the clock ticked past nine, then five past, ten past and finally a quarter past the hour when Mike rushed in, his tie askew and out of breath.

“I’m sorry Harvey I just…I over slept and my new alarm clock was a little off and I wasn’t used to it and-” He babbled before Harvey raised his hand.

“Save me the sob story rookie.” Harvey said, not completely annoyed but just enough that it crept into his voice. Mike shut up quickly and darted his eyes to the floor, a gesture that meant submission but Harvey interpreted it as ‘shit-don’t-look-at-my-eyes’. Harvey stood up and walked over to him, buttoning his jacket as he walked. He watched Mike’s back stiffen and his eyes remained on the ground. Harvey stopped in front of him and put his hands into his pants pockets.

“Mike.” He called softly but firmly. Mike jolted slightly but didn’t look up. “Look at me.” He ordered. Mike gulped and slowly lifted his eyes. They were red-rimmed, telling Harvey all he needed to know. “Why are your eyes red?” He asked innocently but Mike knew he was caught. Harvey was just giving him one last chance to tell the truth.

So of course Mike would try to lie. “I…didn’t have enough sleep last night…” He tried dully. Harvey rolled his eyes.

“I know you got high Mike.” Harvey told him explicitly. Mike winced and started to panic.

“I…I’m sorry Harvey.”

“I know. But you keep doing it. It’s not helping Mike; it’s just masking the pain…” Harvey explained simply. Mike shook.

“I know Harvey but…I won’t do it again I promise…” Mike continued over Harvey not hearing the rest of the statement to follow.

“So, you need to come to me when you’re feeling bad okay?” Harvey finished. Mike babbled on without realizing what Harvey was saying.

“I promise to stop. Just don’t fire me…what?” Mike said dumbly when his brain caught up with his hearing. Harvey smiled sheepishly.

“I haven’t been a good mentor as of late. I’m still learning how to be one. And I’m sorry for what I said, about how I could replace you…the truth is Mike…I can’t.”

“What?”

“I can’t replace you because you’re irreplaceable. There’s never going to be another associate like you that I can find. But that’s okay…because you aren’t going anywhere.” Harvey assured the blonde. Mike’s eyes widened and he was still for a moment or two. Then his lanky arm came up and Mike laid his hand against Harvey’s forehead stiffly.

“Are you okay Harvey…you don’t have a fever do you?” Mike asked strangely. “You don’t have cancer?”

“No Mike. I’m fine; I just had…an awakening you might say.” Harvey explained. Mike nodded his head slowly, still not believing that this was his boss in front of him.

“You’re not acting like yourself. Aliens didn’t get you did they?” Mike asked cocking his head toward the ground.

“Could an alien have known you like Doctor Who and gotten you all that stuff for Christmas?” Harvey asked propping a hand on his hip. Mike’s eyes widened upon realization of Harvey’s secret.

“That was you? Harvey…I… don’t know what to say…” Mike’s face flushed.

“Say nothing.” Harvey chuckled and slung an arm over Mike’s shoulders. “Mike…I might not say it too often but…I do, kind of, sort of…care about you.”

Mike’s face brightened with a small smile. “You do?”

“Yes I do…it may not seem like it but…you’ve grown on me kid.” Harvey punched at Mike’s arm playfully causing the younger man to laugh. “I may not want to hear things sometimes but…you have an ability to _make_ me listen. Use it.”

“Yes sir.” Mike saluted with a smile.

“Now…I think it’s time we paid a visit to the cemetery. It’s a good time of year to reflect and I do my best thinking in cemeteries believe it or not.” Harvey offered causing Mike to once again be surprised by his boss’ demeanor. Mike smiled gratefully and they left the office together, as equals.

It was always said of Harvey Specter that he knows to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possesses the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us.

“Mike, what was that line at the end of ‘A Christmas Carol’? The one the little boy says?” Harvey asked as they left the large building.

Mike smiled. “‘God bless us, everyone.’”

He and Harvey laughed as they got into the car and all the way to the cemetery.


End file.
